Janet Napoles Family NoyNoy Aquino Photo: Ben Hur Luy Kumanta Ka Na Plis!

Our President Benigno Aquino III was not only pictured with Jeane Napoles, but also with Pork Barrel Queen Janet Lim-Napoles and her husband Colonel Jaime Napoles. Pnoy is having a hard time distancing himself from the Napoles' Midas touch- where everything they tap turns to shit. Pnoy may do a 'Drilon' and say we only met 10 times and made beso once. Pero sino maniniwala na acquaintance lang sila at hindi PDAF prenships? 

"We're not hiding anything... the best way is to tell the truth," ayon kay Communications Secretary Ricky Carandang.

So what's the truth nga ba? The Pork Barrel Scandal is getting worse everyday and with Ben Hur Luy on the witness stand, may bago na naman tayong telenovela, pero hindi na ito drama, HORROR na ito! 

Sino si Senator Tanda, Pogi at Sexy? Si Aida, si Lorna at si Fe? si Judas, Barabbas at Hestas? Magsalita ka Luy! #BenHurLuyhasathickskin

"Kung hindi na kasya sa vaults ni Napoles ang bags ng pera, nilalagay na sa bed niya or minsan sa bathtub." - Benhur Luy 

Well siguro pag nag BBQ pa sila Napoles, pera din ang pang siga ng apoy!

SAMANTALA sa Zamboanga sa umano'y Moro-morong hostage crisis, innocent people are caught in the siege. This woman gave birth inside a portalet, she was helped by Red Cross volunteers.

Kawawa naman ang Pilipinas :(

Jeane Napoles President NoyNoy Aquino Photo: Parang Mag Jowa Lang sa Instagram

Jeane Napoles is the shiz when it comes to hijacking celebs and famous people for photo ops. So anu tingin niyo with their almost touching elbows?

Para lang naman sila mag Jowa sa Instagram in an alternate universe. Kungdi lang naman saksakan ng sakim ang mommy nyang si Janet Napoles - baka nasulot pa ni Jeane Napoles ang puso ni PNoy (mala Liz Uy lang naman ang peg ni ateh!)

Kris Aquino MRT Photos

In extremely rare occurrence comparable to Venus in transit with the sun or anyone acquiring an unusual case of Lateral Sinus Thrombosis with Carotid Space Abscess, Kris Aquino has ditched her luxury sports car for a ride on the MRT during rush hour.

The masses are familiar with Manila traffic, Kris Aquino however probably sleeps through it, but not yesterday- in a genius stroke of politically motivated misdirection- Kris Aquino took a ride on the MRT and Twitter went crazy and everyone forgot about Janet Napoles, the hostage situation in Zamboanga, the carnapping-murder case at the BGC.

The only thing that would trump this if KathNiel went preggers or if President Pnoy and Jeane Napoles were caught in a snap together. What are the chances of that?