Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Necrophilia: Gloria Macapagal Arroyo and Datu Arroyo Authors Bill Banning Sex with the Dead

Former Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has a new obsession- 'Necrophilia'

The congresswoman and her son Camarines Sur Rep. Diosdado "Datu" Arroyo have filed a bill seeking to criminalize post-mortem shagging or necrophilia. Necrophilia is the act of having sex with the dead, parts of the dead or doing ungodly sexy things to the departed. Okay so mga kabayan na pinoy, bawal na ang pakikipagtalik sa mga patay, okay? Klaro yan ha? 

Just how rempant Necrophilia is in the Philippines? That it has caught the eye of the former President.

Some theories why the Arroyos authored this bill:

  • Perhaps what happened to Muammar Gaddafi really scared the shit out of the Arroyos. Imagine being defiled post-mortem by your constituents in broad daylight? O sige na, walang gagalaw kay Madam Gloria pag Walking Deads na sha  

  • Madaming Necrophiliacs kesa Jueteng Lords sa Pampang at Camarines Sur
  • They are punishing the Philippine Union of Sepultureros for not supporting their political causes.
  • Nag-isip sha ng bill na never i-veveto ni Pnoy :(
  • Any congressman worth his salt wants to pass a bill that he'll always be remembered for. Well if the Arroyos want their names associated with Necrophilia rather than corruption. Sige keribels lang, lahat naman tayo mamatay, so why not protect the rights of the dead, di ba? 

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